DEC 11 2009/ MY FIRST TIME AT MILLER CHILDRENS NICU- 3RD DAY

I woke up this morning in pain again. Everything hurt, peeing sneezing coughing the pain meds weren't working as good anymore and I had to take the pain. Louis had to go back to work today so he had arranged for his sister to pick me up. I got up brushed my teeth and kissed Louis goodbye. I was so anxious to leave that hospital already that I told my nurse to mention discharge to my doctor I remember him taking so long since he was doing rounds. I had talked to Louis' mom and she told me she was on her way with her friend to visit. My doctor showed up at around 9 am, He assessed me looked at my scar and asked me how I was feeling. I told him I wanted to leave, he understood that my baby was away and that I was longing to see him so he agreed to discharge me a day and a half after having an emergency C-section. I didn't care at this point, I had the most anxious feeling I had ever felt, I felt incomplete I needed to see my baby and I needed to see him now. Louis' mom got to the hospital around 9:30 I soon after called Lesslie so that she could come pick me up. I wanted to leave already; she got to the hospital around 10 pm. I had Louis' mom help me pack up all my things and we waited for Lesslie. I remember Louis' mom came with a pregnant lady and I could not help but envy her baby was still inside her. I was still proud of my baby though, I loved him so much and I had only met him for about 15 mins. As soon as Lesslie got there I had the nurse take my IV out and I was ready to leave. I had not eaten breakfast so Lesslie took me to the Denny's that’s close to Little Company of Mary. I ate a sandwich and limped back to the car. I talked to Louis on the phone and he told me he had arranged for there to be a wheelchair waiting for me when I arrived. When I got to Millers I had to register and it was this really long process, didn’t these people understand that I was anxiously waiting to see my son??? After what seemed like it took an hour I got a NICU parent pass and I was wheeled upstairs. Mason was born during the biggest flu season so only parents and Grandparents were allowed in the NICU. They did not allow Lesslie to go up with me so a nurse wheeled me up. Here I was going to see my baby, full of emotions and I am alone. I got up and registered at the NICU for the first time, everything seemed so new to me. I had no idea what to do or ask. I just went up and I told them I was "Mason Maxwell Quevedo's" Mother, Little did I know that at the hospital he was known only as "Baby Boy Moales" he would become that for his whole life....Baby Boy Morales. I did a NICU orientation and I proceeded to scrub. I did not know what scrubbing was then. I washed my hands and they explained that scrubbing was a little different, I had to scrub to my elbows until the water stopped running, I was to take all jewelry off, clean my dirty nails and lather vigorously. After I was done they took me to room 88. This room was filled with incubators and machines. I was lost, this is when I met his first nurse, I can’t recall her name right now but I would grow very fond of her. She started talking to me about Mason; she gave me a full complete update

After listening to everything she had to say, lost I sat there and admired my son. I stared at him for what seemed like hours. I held his finger and took maybe 100 photos of him. I remembered that Lesslie was still downstairs. I felt bad so I asked the nurse what visiting hours were, she told me I was allowed 24 hours a day except for shift change from 6:30 to 7:30 am and pm. This would be my schedule for the next 6 months. After I got the courage to leave my baby I asked the nurse to wheel me back down, a few tears ran down my face as I said so long, because for all I knew he could have passed while I left. They wheeled me downstairs and Lesslie was sitting in the lobby sleeping. I felt so bad here she was doing a good deed for me and I had bored her to death. It sucked so bad she couldn’t go up with me. She took me back home and I remember on the way back Halo came on, I started crying and I told her all about how I had grown an attachment to it. When I got home, things felt weird nothing felt good all I could think of was him and how he was doing or if he felt lonely or if he was scared and in pain. I felt horrible, Not only had I had major surgery a day and a half ago but here I am walking up and down. I got home and started trying to pump. I laid for a little while, by this time it was like 5 and Louis was about to get off work. I called him and immediately felt better when he said, "get ready we are going to go see our little man". My eyes lit and I felt better. I asked my sister to help me clean my room I had not been home for like a week so my room was a mess with gifts people had dropped off and clothes. Louis got home around 7; He came home with some Uggs for me. I had wanted Uggs for as long as I could remember and I finally got them, I had to give birth to get Uggs and an edible arrangement lol. After I got dressed he helped me to the car and on my way for the second time I was on my way to see my baby. It was a very good feeling I must say. Going to Millers NICU to visit my baby with my husband for the first time. When we arrived we parked and it was now about 8 in Dec so it was really dark. He asked for a wheelchair and he wheeled me up. We signed in, we scrubbed and he walked me towards my baby. At this point I was on vicodin and all I could think of was Mason. Everything the nurses were telling me was so overwhelming. They would tell me about dosages of his TPN, they were telling me about his ventilator settings and what percentage his O2 was at and I was completely lost! I didn’t know what was normal, what a normal blood pressure for a preemie, proper heart rate or respiratory rate. It was too much for me to handle and I felt so overwhelmed. I had Doctor after Doctor Talk to me and I would just nod and my husband would take in the information. The first few days feel like a blur as far as medical wise goes. I was only concerned about him eating and about his weight at this time. We talked and sat for about 4 hours looking at him. We witnessed our first “Touch time” together. Mason was so fragile that they would avoid touching him, they would only bother him every 4 hours. He was 2 days old and had still had not been fed, everything was through IV. I remember them asking me to sign for him to get a PIC line in, the veins they were using were out of his umbilical cord but those only lasted a few days and they would need a secure IV to administer drugs and nutrition. This was vital, but there were risks. The main risk was infection; little did I know that Nosocomial infections would become one of my greatest enemies. At this time I knew better and was just trying to do anything to help my baby survive. They told me they would maybe put the PIC the following day. I was a little tired and my medication had worn off so I was feeling crappy and that room wasn’t very comfortable, there were incubators everywhere so we had minimal space. I prayed for my baby and kissed him goodnight. Today is Dec 11 and it was my first time at Masons home Miller Children’s NICU.

   Mommy's First Picture With Mason.