Today when I got in my baby was still wearing his santa hat! The nurse said it looked really cute plus it was holding down the earmuffs real good so she decided to keep it on. I didnt mind at all since he did look really cute in it. The first thing I noticed was a cast like object on his tiny hand, then i quickly realized his unbillical lines were out so they probably put in a PICC or ART line. Jenna was in today, I loved when Jenna took care of him because I didnt feel so weird asking all these questions. It was the reason I fell in love with her(Later on in masons life Louis actually starts calling her my gf!) She was always very good at responding my questions and I felt a lot more secure. She was also super positive about everything and was the first to inform me when Mason was meeting some of his goals, or he had a good blood gas which were all big milestones for us. My baby was now pretty much 2 weeks old and I had still yet to hold him. I would dream about the day I could finally hold my precious boy in my arms. I wanted to pick him up from that bed that didnt look so comfortable. I had made it a habbit that as soon as I got to his bedside the first thing I did was clean his little mouth with towlettes. He was on the high frequency vent which made his saliva build up then dry on his poor baby lips. I would also put his lovey inside my shirt as soon as I got their. Jenna had great news for me, Mason's chromosome tests all came back negative. Mason was fine! he didn't have any genetic defects which was something huge to me, I thanked God for letting Mason have a normal life despite everything he was going through. He would grow up and be a regular boy..... I was on cloud 9 that day, suddenly everything was looking good and although Mason had a blood transfussion and they went up a little on his pressers he was doing good and it meant the world to me. At this point I had been crying myself to sleep everynight. I felt strong and like I could do this but there was just something about knowing your baby is in a hospital all alone and probably scared and in pain and Im here at home..It just killed me. But that night, I didnt cry and I told myself everything was going to be ok.Today was Dec 21 and Mason doesnt have genetic problems
It's in his heart
7 years ago
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