Friday, December 10, 2010


I kept waking up throughout the night because I was feeling horrible pain, I don’t know if it was more the physical pain or the fact that I felt empty. The little guy I had been carrying the last 6 months was now out and miles away from me. I remember that around 7am I woke Louis up to call the hospital, I needed to know how he was. Louis was supposed to go to Millers in the AM because Mason had his first surgery scheduled. After we called I calmed down a little because they told me he had had a great night and he was ready for surgery. Although her words were reassuring I still felt horrified at the fact that a little less than 2lb baby would go through surgery. I thought to myself, is there an operating table that small? How will they get IV’s in a lot of thoughts went through my head but I prayed and stayed positive. Louis left soon after, I told him to please let me know of anything that happened. After he left I lost it, I’m not sure if it was my hormones but my emotions were out of whack. I started sobbing here I am just given birth and my baby isn’t even in the same hospital anymore.. I felt helpless because I was stuck at a hospital recovering and I couldn’t be with my baby. Louis called me as soon as he arrived, he told me Mason looked good and that he was scheduled to go in and get a Colostomy and a Mucous Fistula. At the time I had no clue what this was. It’s an ostomy, an opening they make where they take your colon out so that you can stool when there is no opening. I kept feeling horrible; he was probably going to be in a lot of pain. I got a call from Louis a little upset, he said everything was taking a long time and he had heard a remark from a doctor he did not like. He said this doctor was upset at the fact they called him in to do a Colostomy when those are routine surgeries and he was a specialist. It got me upset as well (but we grew very fond of that doctor afterwards, and he grew close to Mason). Louis called me when he got out of surgery, I remember praying and thanking God. It was then that I realized how powerful God is, I always had a relationship with God but he had just made me the happiest mother on earth. Throughout his surgery I just kept dozing off and dreaming that I got a call from Louis saying he hadn’t made it. When I heard everything was ok I knew everything would be ok. Little did I know the journey we were about to embark on. I got a visit from my mom and she bought me my first fruit arrangement. I had always wanted one and she ALWAYS told me the day I had a baby she would bring me one, so here I was with my edible bouquet eating fruit and crying to my mom. 
I started feeling more and more pain and I was only allowed pain meds every 2 hrs. I hadn’t stood up since surgery and I was feeling horrible, just drained. This day was probably by far one of the hardest days; I cried and cried all day. Louis wasn’t helping either; he didn’t understand how I was feeling that my hormones were all over the place so he didn’t treat me any different and it made it so much worse. I was determined to get up and walk so that I can leave the damn hospital. Louis was at millers from like 9am to like 4 o clock with Mason so he hadn’t been able to shower or really eat. And I wasn’t helping because I didn’t want to be alone so he got frustrated. I remember calling him crying and my nurse coming in to calm me. She suggested we tried walking, I agreed and stood up. Worst pain ever! I felt so dizzy and weak I literally felt like I was learning to walk again it was horrible. I used the restroom and proceeded to walk some more. At around 7 after shift change my new nurse told me that I was going to be transferred to a recovery room. Alone I freaked because I had been there for the past week and I had a lot of stuff. We packed my stuff in a car and I called Louis to tell him. He told me my sister in law would be coming over to be with me while he had some time to himself. After I settled into my new room my new nurse saw how bad of a mess I was so she gave me something to relax. I watched TV and cried until Lesslie arrived. When she got there I started crying telling her I felt alone and she started crying with me. I remember her clearly telling me that “Women are the ones that get stuck with the babies” I complained about her brother and she comforted me. We laid together until Louis Arrived, I felt so much better that I could talk to him about how my baby was. I remember it was rainy which made me more depressed. He showed me the pictures he had taken of him and we admired our creation he told me all about his visit. I prayed for him that night and prayed to God so that my doctor would release me the following morning it had not even been 48 complete hours but I was convinced to leave the following morning. We watched some TV and I called to get my update on Mason. For the next 168 days I would be Calling Miller Children’s NICU and asking to speak to “The Nurse taking care of baby boy Morales”. Today is Dec 10 and it was Masons 2nd day with us. 


Cassie Beserra said...

Everyday I read more and more and can't wait to see the rest of Mason's story. Even after 48 short hours he showed the world how much of a fighter he was.

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