Mason was now 18 days old, because he wasn't eating he had only gained 7 ounces. And that itself could be excess fluid retained by his little heart. Mason was still on the jet ventilator but although he was hanging in there he was still sick, and today we got the news that he had gotten an infection. An infection doesn't seem like a big deal until you have a preemie fighting for his life with a suppressed immune system. My baby’s body was fighting staying alive and now it had to also fight off a bug that was taking advantage of this susceptible host. I never before realized how many infections and germs run around hospitals, I didn't realize that some babies there already had infections and that nurses could pass them along so easily. Although nurses took precautions nothing was ever positive. The reason why they decided to run a CBC on Mason was because he was requiring more medication. We had already gone down on the Dopamine to 8 and now we were up to 12 again. They did an Echo early morning to see if his PDA was still a moderate size. As you may know by now a PDA is hole in your heart that doesn't close after birth, in Mason's case his PDA needed to be kept open to allow perfusion through where his Coarctation wasn't. The narrowing in his Aorta is so small that the PDA is what’s allowing better blood flow. He was started on 2 antibiotics while they did some gram stains to check what antibiotic would work better on the certain bacteria he was being invaded by. I won’t lie, today was a scary day. But due to him being on antibiotics they took him off 1 sedative while they infused the antibiotic and he woke up while I was there, it was the greatest thing ever. He didn't only wake up but he looked around and he even smiled as I whispered "Baby Masssooooon! Momma is here to see you!!" I whispered that into his Isollette everyday for as long as he lived. This was my first time seeing him smile so much, it melted my heart. I have all this on video and will try to upload it tonight. He was still NPO and his CO2 levels went up due to his infection so they gave him a little more help today so he wouldn't struggle. I couldn't wait until he wasn't NPO anymore..That would be a big milestone. My baby was 18 days old and had not had one drop of milk, He was 18 days old and I had not held my baby not once, My baby was 18 days old and I had not heard a single cry from him...My baby was 18 days old and he was fighting for his life, He wasn't home and wasn't expected to be home for months...He still needed a heart surgery, to learn to breathe on his own and to start being fed but yet I still felt like the luckiest mother alive. He was mine, I was the lucky chosen to be this special boys momma, why me? Because I was capable of looking beyond all the wires and all this medical information thrown at me, I was able to understand it all yet not give a damn about it because all that mattered was my precious son. I told myself I wasn't going to be afraid, He was preparing me for what was ahead, and it would be him who would guide me.