I woke up on Jan 9th feeling great it was Saturday, but not any ordinary Saturday. My baby was 1 whole month old! I couldn't believe it, I couldn’t believe he had been fighting for every breath for one whole month now, and things were looking great for him. I called early morning with my regular "Can I speak to the nurse taking care of baby boy Morales" The nurse just updated me on his night since I told her I would be in soon, She did tell me she had some great news for me when I arrived. This made me so anxious I rushed and showered and was ready before Louis!. I kept thinking to myself "what can it be?" could it be he is getting switched back to the regular conventional ventilator? Possible, "Could it be them starting feeds?" A mom could dream right? I kept beating myself up thinking of what it could be. I talked to Louis about it the whole way, I was scared this wasn't even going to be all that of good news but I had hope it was something BIG...something that said we are in the right direction and we are moving forward. When I arrived we did what we always did, signed in and scrubbed. Me and Louis had a routine; while I signed us in he would go get us pillow cases so we can put our sweaters and my purse. Hospitals are very dirty and contaminated with germs, let’s face it the people and babies that are there are there because they are sick. And I didn't want to take any extra germs into Mason's room. We would Gown up and wear gloves at all times when touching Mason since he was really prone to getting any type of infection. When I arrived the nurse filled me in, she started off by congratulating me. She said Mason is now 1 month old and that is a huge milestone, not many babies make it this far and I could tell he would make it as FAR. I of course told her thanks and that I was thrilled myself to have gotten this far with him despite of all his health issues, and of course him not eating. That's when she gave me the nicest smile I had seen a nurse give me yet. She said the doctor came in with cardiology and GI. They gave Mason the OK to start eating and I was waiting on you to help me hang up his first feed! My jaw dropped!! I felt like crying, and I hugged Louis instantly, this was such a huge deal for me. Mason eating meant he would become even stronger and be able to have some sort of immunity. She told me of course they would start off small. When I thought small I meant maybe 1 oz at a time but no we were starting off REALLY small and he would slowly work himself up to full feeds and when he did he would be able to be completely off TPN. When I asked her how small they were starting off they told me .5 CC's that’s HALF of a ML. If you know what .5 ml is then you can picture how small that is, I probably have more saliva in my mouth than they were feeding him, but it was a start! She told me they would up his feedings as long as he was tolerating it every other shift. That seemed more reasonable to me, if he would be increasing every 12hrs. Right now he was at .5 every 8 hours and by the end of the shift he would be at .5 every 6 hours until they got to every 3 hours then they would increase to 1mL. When I went in to see him and change his diaper I noticed an orange tube down his mouth, I knew this was his feeding tube. I just knew things were looking up for us and I could not be happier. She also told me that he had had a blood transfusion in the morning due to his Hematocrit level being low. But that it had helped a lot with blood gases and they were even thinking of taking his art line out. I was happy about that as it meant one less needle inside him. Then she told me his head US was due today and they had performed it early morning and that the results had just came in. I remember praying to God and telling him to not let that brain bleed get any worse. I had had nightmares about them telling me his grade 1 bleed had gone to a grade 4 and that my baby would more than likely be mentally challenged. Instead she smiled again and told me there was nothing visible anymore and that meant the bleed had resolved ITSELF...It was a miracle!!!!! We could not be happier with the news
When I went in on the 10th I immediately knew something was different, Jenna was there so she immediately filled me in. She told me she convinced the dr to switch em over to CONVENTIONAL!!! This meant no more ear muffs and less sedation! I was thrilled I had gotten so much good news in the last 2 days I could not help but wonder when the bad news was due. It seemed like we could not take one step forward in the NICU without taking 2 steps backwards. For now I was thrilled with the good news. She told me as long as he was stable on the regular vent that maybe I could hold him soon. This of course brought the biggest joy! And even tears of happiness came down my face. She told me that since he had such a big change they were going to keep his feedings the same for today to not push him so much. I thought that was a good idea, I didn’t like the fact that the Jet was still in his room just in case they had to put him back on it. I just wanted that thing out and my baby to never be on it again. When I pulled his blanket up I noticed he was on his tummy!! This was the first time he had ever been on his tummy! He looked so peaceful and was sleeping calmer than I had ever seen him. Jenna always did a great job at keeping his bed neat and not looking like a bunch of lines going everywhere like all the nurses tended to do. I spent the afternoon reading to him and probably took a million and one pictures but I just couldn’t help but love how he looked this was Jan 9 & 10 and the best days in Masons life yet =).
It's in his heart
4 weeks ago